Courthouse Wedding? How to Write the Vows You Never Got to Say

Some of the sweetest weddings happen in a courthouse. A few people you love, a clerk's office, a quick signature, and then lunch somewhere good. No seating charts, no stress, just the two of you deciding it was time.

But I hear this one a lot: the ceremony went by so fast that you never actually said anything to each other. I read a note recently from someone whose officiant skipped the vows entirely. It was rushed, there were four people in the room, and the words they had been carrying around never got said out loud. Now they are planning a vow renewal so they can finally say them.

If that sounds like your wedding, I want you to know something. It is not too late, and you did not miss your chance. The vows you never got to say are still yours to write, and honestly, you may write better ones now than you would have that day. You know more about each other. You have a life together to draw from.

I'm Ellie, and I type wedding vows for a living here in Charleston on a vintage typewriter. Here is how I would help you write the vows you never got to say, and a few ways to make sure that this time, the words stay.

First, let go of the "right" way to do this

There is no rule that vows have to happen at the altar, on the wedding day, in front of a crowd. Some couples write them for their first anniversary. Some read them at a backyard vow renewal with the same four people who were at the courthouse. Some just sit at the kitchen table one night and read them to each other.

Decide what would feel good to the two of you:

• Will you say them out loud? At a vow renewal, a dinner, a trip, or just at home.

• Will you write them together or separately? Separately is more of a surprise. Together can be a really lovely conversation.

• Will you keep them private or share them? You can write vows only the two of you ever read.

Write the vows you never said: a step by step guide

Step 1: Go back to the courthouse day

Start where your marriage started. Free write for ten minutes about the day you got married, even if it was quick. What did you wear? Who was there? Where did you go after? What were you thinking while you waited your turn? Small details from that day make beautiful opening lines, and they honor the wedding you actually had.

Step 2: Answer these prompts

Grab a notebook and answer as many of these as you can. Messy is fine. You will cut most of it later, and that is the point.

1. What did you want to say on your wedding day that you never got to say?

2. When did you know you wanted to marry this person?

3. Why did a courthouse wedding feel right for the two of you?

4. What has changed since that day, and what has stayed exactly the same?

5. What is one ordinary moment with them that you never want to forget?

6. What have you been through together since you got married?

7. What do they do that makes your life easier, kinder, or funnier?

8. What do you promise to keep doing, even on the hard days?

9. What are you most excited about in the years ahead?

If you are writing after a few months or a few years of marriage, prompts 4 and 6 are where the good stuff usually is. You are not guessing at what marriage to this person will be like. You already know.

Step 3: Use a simple shape

Most vows that land follow the same quiet arc, and courthouse vows are no different:

• Open with a line about them, or about that day. ("We said I do in about four minutes, and I have been wanting to say the rest ever since.")

• Tell one story. One specific memory, not ten.

• Make your promises. Mix big ones with small, true ones. "I promise to choose you" next to "I promise to always save you the last biscuit."

• Close by looking forward to what is next.

Step 4: Keep it short

Aim for one to two minutes each, roughly 150 to 250 words. If you are both writing, agree on a length and a tone before you start so one of you is not reading a novel while the other reads two sentences.

Step 5: Read it out loud

Read your draft out loud, to a mirror, a friend, or the dog. You will hear right away which lines feel stiff and which ones make your voice catch. Keep the ones that make your voice catch.

For more prompts and a few examples, my guide on how to write wedding vows that sound like you walks through it in more detail.

A few starter lines for courthouse couples

Use these as scaffolding, then make them yours:

"We did not get a speech that day. We got a signature and a hug from the clerk. So here is what I meant to say."

"I did not need a big wedding to know I wanted a big life with you. I still don't."

"Four people watched us get married. I want the whole rest of my life to watch us stay married."

Planning a vow renewal after a courthouse wedding

A vow renewal is a wonderful way to give yourselves the moment the courthouse could not. It can be as simple or as big as you like. Here are a few ideas I love:

• Keep it small on purpose. Invite the same people who were at the courthouse and read your vows over dinner.

• Go back to the spot. Read your vows on the courthouse steps, or wherever you went right after.

• Make it an anniversary tradition. Your first anniversary is paper, which makes it a natural time to write the vows down and read them to each other.

• Ask a friend to lead it. A vow renewal is not a legal ceremony, so anyone you love can say a few words, or you can skip the officiant entirely.

Keep the words this time

Here is the part I care about most. Your vows were already skipped once. Don't let them disappear a second time into a phone note or a folded piece of printer paper in a drawer.

When couples send me vows they never got to say, I type them onto paper they can frame and hang, so the words they waited for are something they see every day. Here are the pieces I would suggest for a courthouse couple:

Custom Wedding Vows on Handmade Cotton Paper. Your vows, yours and theirs or both, typed on thick handmade cotton paper with soft deckled edges. You pick from four fonts, and I email you a proof before anything is framed. Wedding Vows on Cotton Paper.

Custom Wedding Vows on Linen Paper. Our newest piece. Your vows typed on linen paper, which has a soft woven texture you can see up close, with four font options and a maple, walnut, or black frame. It is a lovely choice for a vow renewal or a quieter, modern look.

Wedding Vows Typed on a Vintage Typewriter. Every letter typed by hand, one key at a time. There is no delete key on a typewriter, so small imperfections are part of the charm, and for a lot of courthouse couples that feels just right. Wedding Vows Typed on a Vintage Typewriter.

Where We Said I Do Map. A custom map of the courthouse or city hall where you got married, marked with a heart and personalized with your names and date. Your wedding may have been short, but the place still matters. Personalized Wedding Location Map.

Newspaper Vows Print. Your favorite photo from the courthouse above your vows, set like a vintage front page, matted and framed at 11x14. Custom Newspaper Vows Print with Photo.

Framing options vary by piece. Our maple and walnut frames are handmade exclusively for our shop by our woodworker, and they are my favorite way to show off those deckled edges.

If you are not sure what to do with your vows once they are written, here are 10 things to do with your wedding vows after the big day.

Let us type this up for you!

Already have your words, or still working on them? Send them over and I will type them up for you on a vintage typewriter, one key at a time, ready to frame and keep. It is the easiest way to finally hold the vows you never got to say. Let us type your vows for you.

Ordering tips

• Send your vows exactly as you want them. Paste them into the personalization box at checkout. I type exactly what you send.

• Watch for your proof. I email a proof to approve before anything is framed.

• Need it fast for a renewal date? Add the rush upgrade and we ship within 48 hours.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you say your own vows at a courthouse wedding? Sometimes. It depends on the courthouse and the officiant, and some ceremonies follow a short set script. If personal vows matter to you, ask ahead of time. If you could not say them, you can always write them later and read them at a vow renewal or an anniversary.

Is it too late to write wedding vows after we are already married? Not at all. Plenty of couples write their vows months or years after the wedding. You have more to draw from now, which often makes for better vows.

What should I say in vows after a courthouse wedding? Start with the day itself, share one specific memory, make a few promises big and small, and close by looking ahead. The prompts above are a good place to start.

How long should vow renewal vows be? About one to two minutes each, or roughly 150 to 250 words.

Do you need an officiant for a vow renewal? No. A vow renewal is not a legal ceremony, so a friend or family member can lead it, or the two of you can simply read your vows to each other.

What is a meaningful gift for a couple who had a courthouse wedding? A keepsake of the words or the place: their vows typed and framed, or a map of the courthouse where they said I do.

What is the difference between your cotton paper and linen paper vows? Both are typed with your vows. Handmade cotton paper is thick with soft deckled edges. Linen paper has a soft woven texture and a cleaner, more modern feel.

What is a good first anniversary gift for a courthouse couple? The first anniversary is traditionally paper, so their vows typed on paper and framed is a first year of marriage gift that fits the tradition and their story. See more first anniversary paper gifts.

Your courthouse wedding was real, and so are the words you never got to say. Write them down, say them when you are ready, and let me help you keep them. Shop wedding vow keepsakes